Perfectionism vs Optimalism

Two Kinds of Perfection

In his book, The Pursuit of Perfect, Harvard Professor, Tal Ben-Shahar, discusses two ways to view the pursuit of perfection. The first way is to seek true "perfectionism." The second is to seek "optimalism." True perfectionism is unhealthy and leads to stress, anxiety, and depression because the ultimate goal is unrealistic and unattainable. Optimalism, on the other hand, is healthy because the focus is on setting high personal standards but keeping realistic expectations. The pursuit is seeking a personal best with the understanding that improvement is the ultimate goal. Perfectionists aim for unrealistic targets and get discouraged. Optimalists aim for attainable targets and are continually encouraged.

Two Kinds of Mindsets

This reminds me of Dr. Carol Dweck's research and how people tend to approach learning from either a growth or a fixed mindset. People with a growth mindset approach learning as a process, seeking challenges and judging their successes by gradual gains. They value mistakes and understand that mistakes provide a valuable learning opportunity. These learners know how to persevere in order to grow, and most importantly, they define themselves by their efforts. This is very different from the fixed mindset learners who avoid failure and value looking smart or skilled. People with this mindset tend stick to what they already know and can do well. They believe that they simply are or are not good in any given area and are afraid to stretch themselves to improve, because they believe that if they fail, they are just not good. So they avoid challenges and tend to give up quickly. They tend to define themselves by their successes and failures.

My Takeaway

Our approach to personal improvement and our mindset are extremely important! As we define our personal visions and set personal goals, we can't let struggles, failures, difficulties, and setbacks define us. We use those as a springboard. We can't pursue true perfection, but we can pursue optimalism. We need high personal standards, but we also need to be patient with ourselves throughout the process. If we can greet each day with attention and intention, we will be better equipped to "intentionally live the dream."

Cool Quote to Leave With You

"Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the journey on our way toward a destination we deem valuable. Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak." - Tal Ben-Shahar

Enjoy the day!